Unbearable... Wasted Spanish

I ate at Don Pablo's on Sunday.

I regret to inform you that I pronounced some dazzling Spanish to my waiter... who spoke German.

¡Híjole! ¡Que insoportable!

I'm gettin' serious....

OK, I have broken out my Spanish books: I'm on a mission.

Ahora (now), yo sé (I know) that this is going to take a long time, but I have to start somewhere, right? I am so excited, I can't wait to learn the language and be able to keep up with my Spanish-speaking counterparts!

The worst part is that I don't have anyone speaking the words to me, so my pronunciation will probably be very, um, amusing to say the least.... I know a few teenagers so I think I will point to words in the book and hopefully they will pronounce them for me, after they recover from their fits of laughter. Oh, well, que será, será....

All right, hasta más tarde... until much later!

Um, pick a language.

OK, I am exporting a Central American product, that was modified in the US, into Canada.

Both ends of the process are tipped with native Spanish-speakers. This is good for them, not the best for me. They do speak English fairly well, thankfully. However, the plot is thickened with a little French: since the product is going to Canada it has to be labeled in French as well as English. That would be OK accept that I have to produce the language for the label, which is no problem save for the fact that the Spanish-speaker in Canada has to supply me the information, which I then have to translate into French....

Can we say, "lost in translation"? This could be very interesting, and potentially disastrous.

I am so screwed up, I can't decide whether to hablar or parler.... I'm having difficulties even speaking simple sentences in English. I'm in trouble....